A horse and a rabbit were playing in a field; the horse falls into a 
     pit of quicksand and yells at the rabbit to go for help.
     
     The rabbit runs to the farmhouse but can't find the farmer, so it 
     takes the farmer's sports car, drives out to the field, ties a rope 
     around the bumper and rescues the horse.
     
     Next day, the same horse and rabbit are playing in the same field and 
     this time the rabbit falls in the quicksand. Instead of going for 
     help, though, the horse straddles the pit, lets its pecker hang down 
     and the rabbit uses the horse's pecker to pull itself free.
     
     MORAL OF STORY:  If you're hung like a horse, you don't need a fancy 
     sports car.

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   The Lucky Frog
  
   A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on
   the  second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. He
   thinks  nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, "Ribbit.9
   Iron"
  
   The man looks around and doesn't see anyone. "Ribbit. 9 Iron." He looks
   at the frog and decides to prove the frog wrong, puts his other club
   away, and grabs a 9 iron. Boom! he hits it 10 inches from the cup.
  
   He is shocked. He says to the frog, "Wow that's amazing. You must be a
   lucky frog, eh?"  The frog reply's "Ribbit. Lucky frog." The man decides
   to take the frog with him to the next hole. "What do you think frog?"
   the man asks. "Ribbit. 3 wood."  The guy takes out a 3 wood and Boom!
   Hole in one.
  
   The man is befuddled and doesn't know what to say. By the end of the
   day, the man golfed the best game of golf in his life and asks the frog,
   "OK where to next?" The frog reply, "Ribbit. Las Vegas." They go to Las
   Vegas and the guy says, "OK frog, now what?"  The frog says, "Ribbit.
   Roulette."  Upon approaching the roulette table, the man asks,"What do
   you think I should bet?" The frog replies, "Ribbit.$3000,black 6." Now,
   this is a million-to-one shot to win, but after the golf game, the man
   figures what the heck. Boom! Tons of cash comes sliding back across the
   table.
  
   The man takes his winnings and buys the best room in the hotel.  He sits
   the frog down and says, "Frog, I don't know how to repay you. You've won
   me all this money and I am forever grateful." The frog replies, "Ribbit,
   Kiss Me."  He figures why not, since after all the frog did for him he
   deserves it. With a kiss, the frog turns into a gorgeous 15-year-old
   girl.
  
   "And that, your honor, is how the girl ended up in my room."
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